Love and Dating In Your 40’s

Recently I wrote a post about dating tips for teens, so today I will be sharing a word with my middle aged daters. If you aren’t married by 40, don’t worry, there’s always hope out there and there’s someone for everyone in this world; why do you think the population naturally and consistently splits almost evenly between the two genders?

Very often when people turn 40 they start thinking that their life is over. Behind them lie one or more broken marriages, a couple of kids and career stairs, and now they are left face-to face with their mortgage and symptoms of the oncoming age. But is it really so? Can your life be over just because you failed to find your special someone and to develop strong bonds with him or her? Is it really the time for giving up? The answer is ‘no’.

Actually, singles in their 40s get another chance to start everything with a new page. Why? Because there are other people also looking to start fresh. Nowadays, more people are divorcing in their later years than ever before and re-entering the dating pool. Recently, in 2011 in England and Wales, the average age of divorcees was 44.5 for men and 42.1 for women.

Fortunately, when dating in their 40’s, people have none of the goals they used to set when they were 20 or 30 something and their priorities differ. At the same time such people have already achieved some professional position; they have already brought up their kids (or still in process) and have a steadier attitude towards all life accidents. They already know what they can offer to their partner and what they want in return, which makes it a lot easier. Of course, some romance and light-heartedness of the first dates will be lost, but we all have to bow to the inevitable.

Dating sites is a great opportunity to find a perfect match. Fill in the form without putting in false data (isn’t it what you expect from other users?), upload your photo (thus you’ll have more chances) and start searching. It is possible that you won’t succeed at first but at least you’ll have a good time while communicating with other people from all over the world and sharing with them all the things that happen to you. A recurring theme I see with people on dating sites, especially women, is a level of pickyness where they don’t even answer most messages because the “approach” wasn’t what they wanted.

As long as the other person isn’t being disrespectful, stop putting so much weight on the opening. Some of the most interesting people you will never meet because their opening didn’t wow you. I am by no means saying you should lower your standards, I’m only suggesting that you be more accessible. Some people are good at opening and but can’t hold a conversation beyond that. Speak to everyone you can – tell them little details about yourself and find out some about them. Yes, that’s what friends are for, but when you’re 40, you know all about your friends as well as they know all about you. Chatting with other people on a dating site will also turn out very exciting and amusing.

However, don’t forget about your looks while spending hours on-line. Make sure that you take care of your physical condition – sleep well, eat healthy food and attend a beauty parlor or barber shop, so that on your first date with the person from a dating site you will look as brilliant as you do in your profile picture which you probably took on one of your better days.

Happy dating!

Drinking Games With Your Significant Other

Here’s an interesting date night idea: drinking games! I know the idea you have in your mind are those of college kids getting together and playing beer pong but you’re wrong.

beer pong

There are plenty of drinking games for couples out there which successfully combine a night of responsible drinking with an opportunity to learn even more about your partner.

Games are great for the well established couple who crap in front of each other or the newbies still in the infatuation phase. For the newbies, you get an opportunity to not only learn but lower your inhibitions and loosen up around each other. Don’t go getting drunk though, I see nothing positive coming out of that.

You might get laid but here at Loventer.com, we’re not in the business of trying to get anybody laid; we’re trying to help people create strong, long lasting relationships.

Also, this idea is more geared toward new couples or people who are just dating but for the established, this is just another fun activity that you can try out. What other fun date night ideas do you have in mind? And share some of your favorite drinking games as well! We’d love to hear them!

11 Dating Tips For Teens

1. Accept that dating is a normal thing.

No matter what your parents think or say, teenagers dating is normal. 9 times out of 10, they were dating when they were teenagers. You can’t learn everything that you ought to know about life, just from attending school and doing homework. Of course, you can get some additional experience at homes, but it is also very important to develop the ability to give feelings, emotions, some time to another person you like, and to learn how to give it back. All this is important to build a strong and solid family.

2. Learn to look for options.

Hints can sometimes be unappreciated, which can lead to disagreements. But in some cases your partner won’t agree with you, then you should employ the art of negotiation. If you want to go to the movies, and your partner doesn’t want it, try to explain him that it is very important for you to see this movie, and tell him why you have to watch it. In other case, if your partner wants to do that you absolutely don’t want; you should find the option that will satisfy both of you.

3. Remember your mistakes and don’t step back.

The first thing to do is to find a suitable partner. You should understand that the first date won’t become a marriage which will last for the rest of your life. And if something wasn’t right for the first time, you should just stop and ask yourself what went wrong and what should I do to avoid the mistake so it won’t repeat in the future again. Be a realist, don’t blame yourself if you fail, you’re just trying for the first time. You learn from your mistakes, each time improving and moving to more strong and reliable relationship. Nobody is perfect, but there are certain things we all should know and use them in life. How to communicate with the opposite sex is one of the vital knowledge you should know.

4. Do not build relationships on jealousy and insults.

Jealousy is the most destructive force in your relationship. This emotion is a wild desire of your partner to know where you are. Of course, you are responsible for time, when you are with your partner, at this time you belong to him or her. But you’re a free man and you have a lot of other things to do. And, of course, you don’t have to report for each second spent without him or her. But you have your own interests and activities that your partner has to respect. He should understand it and give you the opportunity to be free. Another important factor in the relationship is trust, don’t forget about it.

5. During the date don’t control the action of your partner.

Do not let anyone enslave you, don’t be frightened to have your own opinion .If are told what to think, what to do, how to say, that means the man likes to control, you will feel a lack of freedom, break up with him immediately. The relationship may last for six weeks or six months, but in any case such a relationship will be over. At first sight it might seem that he’s caring about you, but he doesn’t, he’s just unreliable person. Youth is a dangerous time for everyone. But when someone forces a man to do something without his own will that is extremely dangerous, it can lead to irreversible consequences!

6. Never apologize for the behavior of your partner.

In the relationship each can behave inappropriately, but you never have to apologize for the actions of your partner, for his or her words. Your partner should take full response for his actions. If your partner isn’t ready to do so and you feel uncomfortable with him, then you should think of a break up.

7. Don’t go for a date with a person you don’t feel comfortable with.

If you feel discomfort with the person you’re close to, then there is no sense to continue the relationship. You should feel yourself loved and desired. Flattery in small amounts is always relevant. For example during the date, you can thank your partner because of his good preparing. After that he’ll want to see you again and will try to look better then he was.

8. Don’t impose someone your relationship, if it doesn’t go well.

Don’t think you’ll build a good relationship with the man who isn’t interested in you. People like to be valued, first of all for their personality with all their good and bad sides. Everyone wants to be noticed for their personality. But being emotionally dependent of other character, you are depriving yourself of being a unique and individual person.

9. Estimate your partner as an independent person.

When people fell in love with each other, they can skip their partner’s shortcomings and think that they love it. But soon such strong feelings are becoming weaker, what leads to conflict and to destruction of the relationship. That’s why you should treat your partner as an independent person with his own interests and views. And don’t force him to follow your side, even if you only believe in it, let him chose himself.

10. Don’t find fault with your partner.

It’s normal to emphasize something you don’t like in your partner, but don’t criticize him too often, it can become nagging. And he’ll soon start watching and reproaching you with pleasure if he has a chance. However it can reflect on your relationships.

11. Have fun and enjoy.

Dating isn’t a marathon run, its fun and pleasure of being in a company of a man you’re in love with.

PERSONAL DATING BEHAVIORS THAT TURN OFF THE GIRLS

Here comes the moment you’ve waited for the whole life, the girl of your dreams has accepted your invitation. Now the main thing is not to screw up and not to make mistakes that commonly occurred on the first dates.

1. Don’t forget to call
Your date begins even before you met. Be a gentleman and make sure that the date still stands. If she thought you’ve forgotten, she could go somewhere with her friends. The best option is to call her early in the morning, so she has enough time to prepare for a date with you tonight. Women like guys who take initiative – this is just one way you can do this.

2. Don’t try to impress her with the money you got
Money doesn’t impress a girl you want to be around long term. If you try to get a good woman with money, it won’t work. The feelings of closeness and love aren’t the feelings you can buy, so show your ability of dispense with girls, not the size of your wallet. During the first few dates be a gentleman. About a third date, you will feel comfortable being together, so you can share all the expenses for two: you’ll pay for movie tickets, and she’ll pay for popcorn.

3. Don’t talk about your ex
You shouldn’t talk about your previous ladies. A lot of guys love to talk and boast of their previous dating experience, but in fact, it’s boring to listen to all this. Avoid talking about your previous victories, if only she asked you about it. And even then the answer should be short.

4. Don’t make too many compliments
Of course, you love her for beauty and personal qualities, but don’t make a lot of compliments. Couple of compliments would be enough. If there is too much praise, it will be a sign for her that you’re not the one she wants.

5. Open doors in front of her
If you have a car with automatic doors opening system, that’s cool, but show that chivalry isn’t dead yet. Follow her to the passenger’s side door and open it for her. That’s gonna be the first door you open for her on this date.

6. Places to invite her to
Dinner on your first date should not take place in a fast-food restaurant like McDonald’s. Find a good and cozy place, where you both would feel comfortable, but don’t show off, bringing her to an expensive restaurant. Do not waste much time on choosing dishes in the menu. You should think about everything before hand, so you could show her, you have everything under control. But if she wants to choose, let her make her choice.

7. Talking on the phone
Turn off the phone. Dates should not be interrupted by the phone calls or text messages. Show her, she is the only one, you’re interested in right now.

Girls please tell us what other mistakes your boyfriend occurred on a first date.

5 WAYS TO SAY GOODBYE, IT’S OVER

Breaking up with someone you love or loved, is always hard. Why do people have to do it, if everything in your heart has already died? That the rules of the game called – love. There are a lot of articles about how to meet, but not how to break up. There are FIVE easy and only ONE proper way to break up. Here they are:
1. Break up with the help of SMS
Three words and it’s done, short and effective. For 5 cents your relationships are sent to a dustbin. You don’t have to be there, to see or to feel your partner’s reaction. If you really wanted to break up, never reply his answers.
2. Write to him that you want to break up
Say Goodbye by e-mail
This way can be equal to SMS one. Pretty fast and without much pain it will help you to end up everything. Type the words, press ‘SEND’ button and then add his computer number to ignore list. Everything is simple, you don’t have to worry your heart about, awake the memories. Here is an example what you can say: Our love-boat has crashed. I’ll swim to one side, and you swim to another. Goodbye.
Break up letter
If you can’t watch into his eyes, but you want to break up, the breaking up letter will help. You should think over each word, try not to make it too long, explain the reasons, let him know you don’t want it anymore. If he understands it correctly, he let you go, if not, he’ll need the answers.
3. Say Goodbye by phone
Break up with your partner by phone. Some say it’s almost an ideal way of breaking up, the others say it’s a complete lack of respect. Anyway you should prepare for such a talk. It can last for ten minutes, or even an hour. Such talks make you feel pain.
4. Help of your friend
Why should you do it, if you can ask your friend. Let your friend explain the situation and announce your break up. It’s an easy way, but you can lose a friend. What if they fall in love, you’ll lose them both. If it’s so hard for you to say or to write, you can try this option.
5. Personal meeting
The most proper and painful way of breaking up. Even if you’ve prepared for it, it’ll get out of control. Instead of tears you get anger. Instead of anger he gets tears or vice-versa. You can’t predict how it’s going to happen. Respect the man whom you share your sorrow and joy.
And remember, life is still flowing. Keep looking, don’t give up!

HOW TO GET BOYFRIEND BACK PSYCHOLOGY

You fall in love easily when you’re young and you can discover and dating in your 40s. But sometimes break ups are inevitable. But it is in your power to get your loved one back.

First of all, I hope that you’re reading this article just because you’re curious, but if you’re in trouble and want to get some advice on what you should do – then read it carefully.

So, you’ve almost lost a person that means a lot to you and you’re struggling to get the answer on how to get him back. You have to find a way to communicate with him, but at the same time you have to develop a certain plan, so that he wouldn’t think that your further relations are a pointless waste of time. Your plan should be aimed on showing him all your positive sides. Keep in mind the following five points and start to act.

1. Realize that you won’t be able to see him for a period of time. Right now he’s gone, but don’t you dare to cry your eyes out. Think of the reason he left, mull over the past events – what exactly was wrong?

2. Take up something that will make you forget a bit about the break up. If you’ll be thinking about it constantly, you’ll always be in a gloomy mood. Make yourself thin about something more pleasant and show him that you’re thinking over the break up.

3. Stay calm when you see him – no matter when, where and in whose company. Show him that you’re strong and independent. Some guys begin to pay some attention to you if you ignore them.

4. Talk to him straight away. When you’re ready to talk with him – set a meeting with him. But don’t make him think that you’re going to beg him to come back. Discuss with him the reasons of your break up. Listen to his opinion and then suggest correcting your mistakes. But if he shows no interest in this – drop this topic.

5. Don’t hurry. Making up with your loved one can be a long process. Don’t press on him otherwise he’ll be gone for good. You’ve made some mistakes that have led to break up. Take your time and correct them.

WHY DO MEN LIE TO THEIR GIRLFRIENDS?

We all know that no relationships are possible without trust. Nevertheless, we all lie. White lies, simple lies – we’re messed up with them. And sometimes it’s so hard to get to the reason of the lie. Sometimes it seems that there are no reasons for lying, but we still hear it. It sometimes happens that you find a boyfriend – and one day you notice that he’s lying to you. Why do men lie to their girlfriend is probably the most complicated question, but we managed to find explanations for some cases.

Case 1. “You’re looking great, honey”
According to an Internet research of a popular edition, a lot of men confessed that they lie to their girlfriends about how they look. Girl will get a positive answer in 88% of the cases, when her outfit is actually a bit weird. But that’s quite easy to explain: they want to avoid the girl’s nagging and hysterics. But sometimes they should really pay attention to the question, maybe their girlfriends rally want to know the truth, especially if a big event is coming.

Case 2. “I don’t remember how many girls I’ve had before you. A lot, probably”
These lies take the second place on our pedestal of lies. Men can’t but exaggerate the number of their ex-girlfriends. They’re afraid that if the girl discovers the truth she’ll think of him as of a poor lover. And that will certainly hurt the man’s self-esteem. Among men a big number of ex-partners means that the guy is cool. But the girl may not tolerate such exaggeration. In this case they should better lie that they don’t remember. Of course, they do! But let them “forget” instead of coloring the truth with many girlfriends.

Case 3. “I’m working and working – I’m so tired of how much I work”
That’s the third most popular lie. Men want to look tough and to be real bread-winners. They love to be comforted and soothed after they have worked so hard. And don’t ask the about wages, or you may hear another lie. Small wages is a sign of failure – the thing they usually can’t put up with. Yes, he may drive a rusty old Ford, but he still earns “a lot” – and it’s no use arguing.

OK, now you’re ready to find a someone or get your ex-boyfriend back and be prepared to hear some lies.